A Restless Heart
I have so many blessings, they are in abundance, but lately my anxiety has been nearly unbearable. Little or no sleep, unpleasant dreams, insufferable paranoia.
I tell myself, “Be calm. Breathe.”
And nothing comes.
I have evaluated outside factors, but I only see blessing after blessing. Gift after gift. Grace upon grace.
Yet my heart and mind wail and moan because they do not rest.
I am seriously considering prayer and fasting. Fasting is something I have never truly embarked on because I knew very little about it or did not feel led to it for growth. But I’ve been listening to John Piper’s series on prayer and fasting, as well as looking at the state of my heart. And now more than ever I see it as a necessary and desperate cry to my Father to fix my heart, fix my mind.
I do not know what this means about my presence on here. I am certainly leaning towards my activity being sparse. I may document progress, if there is any, or reblog posts that encourage me (and hopefully you as well) during this time.
Your prayers are so much appreciated, if you feel so led to do so.
I am in constant need of love from a God who is in constant desire in giving it.
Today started out kind of rough, but tonight was a big turn around.
It was so nice to see my sweet friends at Emily’s birthday party tonight, laugh way too much while playing Scattergories and Bananagrams, and Skype with John afterwards.
Not a bad night, indeed. c: